I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
