it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His hands were made for my vagina.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.