We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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