you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."