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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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• (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We are taking your truck.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night

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