he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We have started to decorate penises.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
