So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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