I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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