She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
