I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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