i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
