I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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