Dual....:-)
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
