the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
