i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Found the puke drawer
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
