After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dicks are not precious.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
