weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize