Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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