pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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