Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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