You really coming over, don't trick.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
