If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
