I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
