Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
tell me about the fingering
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
