Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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