I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
