Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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