Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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