Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
