I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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