I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
