I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
