Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
