What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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