She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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