Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
