I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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