I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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