so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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