Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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