My brain says no but my pants say off.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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