Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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