im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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