If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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