went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
