that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
