there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
