I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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