You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wanna passion pit in your ass
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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