I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
