he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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