Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
