I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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