can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
