it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
