So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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