Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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