Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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