Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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