Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
