am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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