well I can't set my house on fire every night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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