If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
