5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
