do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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