My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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