I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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