Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
