Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
