Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
